Friday, June 26, 2009

this is for us... and our memories.

It's by skillet, called Those Nights.



I remember when we used to laugh about nothing at all
It was better than going mad
From trying to solve all the problems we're going through
Forget 'em all
Cause on those nights we would stand and never fall
Together we faced it all
Remember when we'd

Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In the dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive
We'd listen to the radio play all night
Didn't want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive

I remember when we used to drive anywhere but here
As long as we'd forget our lives
We were so young and confused
That we didn't know to laugh or cry
Those nights were ours
They will live and never die
Together we'd stand forever

Remember when we'd
Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In the dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive
We'd listen to the radio play all night
Didn't want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life
Those night kept me alive

Those nights belong to us
There's nothing wrong with us
Those nights belong to us

I remember when we used to laugh
And now i wish those nights would last
Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In the dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive
We'd listen to the radio play all night
Didn't want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life
Those night kept me alive

Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In the dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive
We'd listen to the radio play all night
Didn't want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life

Those night kept me alive
Those nights belong to us
There's nothing wrong




you guys don't know how much I love you... and how much I wish things were back to the way they used to be. I feel like I'm living in the past, and it's a horrible feeling. I want to move forward, but I can't make myself let go. Because I feel like if I let go, it won't exist anymore...... that's the best way I can describe it. I know it sounds really dramatic, but honestly, that's how I feel about it. And I'm just going to tell yo guys that yeah, I can be tough and uncaring but when I think of how stupid I am to not ever want to let go of those times, I cry. I cry about it all the time. An I'm so sorry for everything I've said that made you guys angry, and that made you guys sad or upset. I'm so sorry. And I wish that everything could go back to the way they were, because it just seemed so magical. and now it feels like it's all gone. and I don't know why I feel this way. And I have no idea why I'm telling you guys this. I never do this to anyone. I just want you guys to know that I love and trust you guys so much, and how sorry I am for being such a stubborn jerk.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Leaving!!!!

Well, it's been fun everyone! Seriously fun! Tell the people on the dreamers thing too. But You know. somethings just where out there welcome :3 I must admit I'm seriously saddened about leaving but you all can contact me on my e-mail hailey@conder.org. :3

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Warriors: It all Begins

this is chapter 1 of MY warriors book. YESH! it's also on: Warrior-itallbegins.blogspot.com where all my chapters will be on.



1
“Elderstar…” I whispered in my sleep, which was soon disturbed by Sootpaw. “What is it Sootpaw?” I asked with a glare and hostility in my sharp tone. He retreated a few steps.
“T-time to train.” He said more boldly. I roused quietly, a glare still fixed on Sootpaw. I ripped my gaze away to give myself a quick grooming. When I finished, I looked at Sootpaw more calmly.
“Kittypet!” I spat, my glare returning, and I walked out of the apprentices den which is an old fox den. I arched my back and stretched. Sootpaw padded out from behind me, his gaze locked longingly on Nightpaw.
Sootpaw is a grey-white tom with grey eyes. He was once a kittypet, a cat owned by a Two-leg. Nightpaw is black she-cat with black-grey eyes, white paws, and a black stripe through her pink nose. Sootpaw was lucky that he’d been accepted into our clan after being a kittypet. Our clan leader, Coloredstar, was kind enough to let him in.
Our clan is Cloudclan, one of the four clans. Cloudclan is the clan that lives in the forest area. Our camp is protected by tightly packed trees. Fireclan is the second clan. Fireclan is in the rocky lands with some small marshes and toxic ponds; their camp is protected by mounds and mounds of rocks and dirt deep within the toxic marsh part of the rocky land. Brookclan is the third clan. Brookclan is in open plains with some trees but mostly with a huge river flowing only through their territory. Their camp is on the other side of the river on the riverbank. No one but cats from Brookclan can swim that fierce river. (The rest of us have small ponds to get water from.) Treeclan is the fourth and last clan. Treeclan is on open fields and two big forests by the two-leg place and under a big rocky cliff. Lately Treeclan has been weird and naming their warriors disgraceful names! Their camp is hidden in thorn bushes and thickets, but it’s also underground with only two tunnels to get in and out.
Cloudclan is, right now, the biggest clan thanks to a war that was fought earlier when I was a kit. Coloredstar had been wise and stayed out of the war. So the other clans had a serious drop in numbers from the casualties while Cloudclan continued to grow even bigger. In fact, our can is so large that we only have two warriors without apprentices. Even our leader has an apprentice. And that, as you should know, is me. I’m being mentored by the Cloudclan leader! Sootpaw is trained by Tigerstripe. Since warriors and apprentices have duties to fulfill for the clan most of the time, only two apprentices can be trained at a time. Sadly, I’m paired with Sootpaw and Tigerstripe.
I’ve always hated kittypets. Even once kittypets like Sootpaw. They lived a lazy, cozy life with two-legs taking care of them all day while we clan cats have to work our hardest just to take care of ourselves and our clan. I glared at Sootpaw until he noticed and stepped uncomfortably to the side.
Kittypet! I thought rudely.
I padded to the Flat-rock. A rock that is large and flat that rests in the middle of our camp. Underneath the flat-rock is an old fox den. To cover up the entrance to the den, moss was hung in front of it. In the den is where the leader, Coloredstar, sleeps.
“Coloredstar?” I asked, sitting in front of the moss covering the entrance.
“Come in, Lightpaw.” Coloredstar’s deep mew came from inside. I passed through the moss and padded into the warm den. “I know it’s time to train. Its sunrise, isn’t it?” Coloredstar asked. He was laid down on a bed of ferns and colorful feathers. Coloredstar is a bangle tom with brown eyes. He looked at me, waiting for a simple answer.
“Yes” I answered “it is sunrise. Time to train with Tigerstripe and Sootpaw.” Coloredstar snorted with disgust.
“The kittypet!” he spat “I only let him in because we were in need of apprentices so we could have more warriors. Now we have too many apprentices.”
“Why not kick him back to his kittypet life?” I teased, Coloredstar purred with amusement.
“I can’t.” he said seriously.
“Why not?” I asked. He just flicked his tail at the moss entrance. I padded over and stuck my head out. I saw Sootpaw dreamily staring at Nightpaw wash herself.
“I see.” I mewed and padded back to Coloredstar, “He’s in love.”
“I know what it’s like to be in love.” Coloredstar mewed.
“Which reminds me, Bravekit and Scaredkit will be apprentices next moon right?” Bravekit and Scaredkit are Spottedpelt’s kits. Spottedpelt is Coloredstar’s mate.
“Yes, that is correct. Next moon, they’ll be apprentices.” Coloredstar meowed with pride. Every father wanted to see his kits grow up to be respected and honorable warriors. Coloredstar’s eyes were suddenly clouded with worry, “But Scaredkit…I’m afraid that he won’t make it to a warrior. He’s scared of everything!”
“He’s a kit!” I murmured, licking his ear for comfort. “He’ll grow out of it.”
“Like Bravekit?” he sighed “I’m afraid that she won’t make it either.”
“What?! She’s going to be great. She’s not scared of anything!”
“That’s it. What if she does something dangerous because she’s not scared and gets herself hurt? Or even…”
“Even though she’s too brave for her own good, doesn’t mean she’s not smart enough to know when to accept defeat or back down.” I interrupted.
“I hope you’re right, Lightpaw, I really do. Now let’s go train.” We both headed out of the den where Sootpaw patiently waited; still gazing at Nightpaw who finally noticed he was watching her. She gave him a nasty hiss out of anger and then ran into the apprentices den, Sootpaw turned to look at us, thinking we were still in the leader’s den.
“Oh! Hi, Coloredstar.” He mewed in surprise and sat up straighter.
“Don’t suck up kittypet!” Coloredstar snapped. I could tell that Sootpaw bit back a retort. To make it easier, I changed the subject.
“Where’s Tigerstripe?”
“Over at the prey pile.” Sootpaw answered and flicked his tail at the pile of prey the hunting patrol had caught. (The prey pile sits underneath the shade of the flat rock.) Tigerstripe was crouched eating a vole.
“Tigerstripe!” Sootpaw meowed “time to train.”
“Coming, Sootpaw!” Tigerstripe called back and finished off her vole. Tigerstripe is an orange she-cat with black stripes. She padded over to us tiredly, as if she’d just woken up.
“Come, we must train before it’s time for two other apprentices to train at sunup.” Coloredstar mewed casually.
“Right.” Tigerstripe agreed “lets go.” We all headed to the exit tunnel out of the camp. There are only three ways to get in or out of this camp.
One: the tunnel that goes underneath the tightly packed trees (so tight that no cat alive has been able to squeeze through them) at the front of the camp, called the entrance tunnel. Two: another tunnel underneath the trees barely to the side of the medicine cats den, called the exit tunnel. Three: a small opening hole through the bottom of the trees behind the nursery (only Rainpaw and I know that way).
I stopped at the exit tunnel as Tigerstripe and Coloredstar went in. Sootpaw was gazing over his shoulder at the prey pile. Nightpaw had come out of the apprentices den and was eating a sparrow. This was my time to tease the once kittypet.
“Did you hear that nasty hiss she gave you?” I whispered “she’ll never like you.” He flinched and stepped aside. I let out an mrroww of laughter and slipped into the tunnel and out into the Cloudclan forest. Out of the camp, the trees were way more spread out.
“Can you scent anything, Lightpaw?” Coloredstar asked. I opened my mouth and let in all the scents of the forest.
“There’s a hint of sage in that bush over there, fairly strong. Also some peppermint leaves down by the Fireclan border, that’s really strong. Also some of that stale fox we drove out two sunrises ago. And I scent some prey close to the Brookclan border.” I mewed. Coloredstar nodded his head proudly. Both the borders that I scented were a ways away and yet I could still smell what was near them. I had the best sense of smell in the clan.
“I could only pick up the sages scent.” Sootpaw said as he popped out of the tunnel. “Great scenting!”
“I do have great scenting, duh!” my voice turned ice cold as I mewed sharply, “and you never will!”
“Leave Sootpaw alone, Lightpaw.” Yowled Tigerstripe “he left hid kittypet life so he’s a clan member now. Treat him like one.”
“Once a kittypet, always a kittypet.” I retorted.
“I’m an apprentice of Cloudclan!” Sootpaw hissed “I left my house folk!”
“That’s fox dung!” I spat “you were lost! We found you before a rouge did, that’s all.” Sootpaw shivered at my last comment. He hated rouges ever since he found out his father was one.
“No need to fight. We should have peace.” Coloredstar interrupted “but I do have to agree with Lightpelt. One a kittypet, they’ll always have the urge to go back to their kittypet life. But that doesn’t make them a bad clan cat.” Sootpaw looked absolutely crushed.
“What?!” Tigerstripe asked in fury “he chose to leave!” she glared at me now, “he was not lost, mouse brain! I was there when he came to us. He’d followed Nightpaw here and then wanted to join the clan. We needed more apprentices.”
“Now we have too many apprentices.” Coloredstar mewed “and I said he’d always have the urge to go back. I never said he would actually go back, I also said that the urge didn’t make him a bad clan cat. So please, Tigerstripe, back off in your fury.”
“Humph!” Tigerstripe growled a little, obeying his leader.
“Remind me later to tell the other mentors to give their apprentices the test, Tigerstripe. Now we must train our apprentices.”
“Why not give us the test?” I asked.
“Not enough time. You’ll take it next sunrise.” Coloredstar answered.
“Sunrise is almost over. It’ll be sunup soon.” Tigerstripe mewed, agitated, “We’ve wasted too much time. We must train.”
“Let’s go to the Brookclan border to hunt.” I suggested, remembering that I’d scented some prey there earlier. We followed Coloredstar until we reached a fallen tree. It was the mark of where the Brookclan border is. Beyond is Brookclan’s territory.
“It stinks of Brookclan cats.” Sootpaw said, crinkling his nose. “They were here recently, really recently.” I walked to the side of the log where I could see beyond the border.
“They’re behind those thorn bushes on the Brookclan side.” I flicked my tail toward the nearby thorn bushes behind the trunk. “You can come out now. We’re not here to hunt on your territory.” Two Brookclan cats crawled out of the bushes.
“Nice nose.” The first complimented.
“Thank you, Crowpaw.” I mewed in greeting “hello, Ravenpaw.” Sootpaw, Tigerstripe, and Coloredstar walked over to where I was and just twitched their ears in greeting. Crowpaw and Ravenpaw are Brookclan apprentices, also brother and sister. Crowpaw is a light brown and black tom. Ravenpaw is a black and light brown she-cat, they both have amber eyes.
“Hunting patrol?” Ravenpaw asked.
“Hunting for training.” Tigerstripe corrected.
“We’re the hunting patrol.” Crowpaw explained.
“With Russetpaw.” I said as Russetpaw’s scent rushed over my scent glands.
“Russetclaw.” A voice said and Russetpaw, I mean Russetclaw, stepped out from behind the thicket.
“You have your warrior name already?” Coloredstar asked in little surprise.
“Yep.” Russetclaw mewed proudly. Russetclaw is a dark brown tabby tom, “I’m guessing it’s almost time for your apprentices to be warriors.”
“On the same day, next moon, on which my kits become apprentices.” Coloredstar said proudly “now, you should continue with what your doing, and as should we.”
I scented a mouse and dropped into the hunters crouch. I moved each paw so quietly it was almost impossible to hear. Then I saw it, a brown mouse with beady black eyes. It was in the middle of a circle of bushes, nibbling on a poppy seed. I snuck up, hiding behind the bushes. And then I leaped into the air. I flew over the bushes, a thorn ripping at my back leg as I got lower and my shadow covered the unsuspecting mouse. At first it was stunned with fear and didn’t move but soon broke into a speedy run. But it was too late; I had pounced on it and killed it with a swift and bloody bite to the neck. I brought it back to my clan mates. I dropped it at Coloredstar’s paws.
“Eat.” I insisted.
“No.” Coloredstar declined “give it to Spottedpelt and my kits when we return.” I nodded my head. Ravenpaw, Crowpaw, and Russetclaw ran back into the bushes and reappeared near the side of the river that ran through their clan. Ravenpaw struck the water, claws unsheathed. When her paw came out a fish was hooked in her claws. Crowpaw and Russetclaw did the same. They carried their prey deeper into the thicket and bushes and very small number of trees.
Sootpaw and I worked on our hunting until the sun was all the way up in the sky.
“Sunup. Training time’s done.” Tigerstripe mewed to stop us. “I need to get back to camp for Dawn patrol.” We all padded back to the exit tunnel, all the sudden Rainpaw popped out of it.
“Oh! Sorry Tigerstripe. I’m here to train.” Rainpaw apologized after ramming into Tigerstripe who had started going in the tunnel when he’d popped out.
“I’m here to train too!” Dawnpaw’s yowl came as she pushed Rainpaw out of the way of the exit tunnel. Rainpaw is a bluish furred tom with yellow eyes and Dawnpaw is a beautiful golden brown she-cat with pale eyes.
“Don’t forget you’re being mentored by Blossomflower and me.” I heard Greyfoot’s usually grumpy voice as he climbed out of the tunnel, his mate, Blossomflower, right behind him. Greyfoot is Dawnpaw’s mentor and Blossomflower is Rainpaw’s mentor.
Greyfoot is a brown tom and one of his paws is an ashy grey. Blossom-flower is a pretty white she-cat with ginger patches and hazel-green eyes that are getting more and more grey every moon.
“I’m just here for the Dawn patrol with Tigerstripe.” I would recognize Hawktail’s fatherly voice anywhere. He squeezed out of the exit tunnel. Hawktail is a dark brown tom. He’s Cherryblossom’s mate as well. Cherryblossom is a queen right now. (A queen is a she-cat nursing or expecting kits. Cherryblossom is expecting kits soon, very soon.)
Hawktail and Tigerstripe bounded off to do the dawn patrol. “Greyfoot, Blossomflower, there’s been a slight change in today’s plans.” Coloredstar told the two mentors “you will be giving Dawnpaw and Rainpaw the test.” The two old warriors nodded and they, with Rainpaw and Dawnpaw, raced off into the forest.
“Coloredstar?” I asked.
“Yes, Lightpaw?” he answered.
“I’ve never been in love. What’s it like?” I asked.
“Don’t worry now. Besides, you’ll know when you’re in love. When you’re a warrior, search for a mate that will love you till the time you die. And even after that.”
“I will, Coloredstar, I promise.”
******************************************************************
(Brookclan)
I yawned in my den under the rockpile, a pile of large rocks with a cave under where I, Snakestar, sleep. I’m leader of Brookclan and proud of it…even though I’m on my last life. I’m also a dark brown tabby tom.
“Snakestar?” a voice mewed from outside the cave. Crowpaw’s familiar scent flooded in.
“Come in, Crowpaw.” I welcomed my loyal apprentice. Crowpaw padded in nervously. “How’d the hunting patrol go?” I asked him.
“Great. We caught plenty of prey and Brightheart has been fed.” Crowpaw reported.
“Wonderful, Crowpaw. Thank the others for me, will you? And it’s great that Brightheart is fed. The queens, kits and elders are always fed first.” I said “to bad we don’t have any kits…or elders.” I sighed.
“You do now.” Stripeface’s mew called and then he walked into my den. Stripeface is a short haired light brown tom with dark brown stripes across his face.
“Brightheart had her kits?!” I asked joyously.
“Um…no, I meant I want to become an elder. I’m too old to stay a warrior now.” Stripeface demanded.
“You can’t retire Stripeface! You have an apprentice to finish training first. Blackpaw, remember?” I said stubbornly.
“Then make him a warrior already! He’s already had the test and passed easily. Besides, Snakestar, moonup is the full moon. Meaning the Lilly Gathering. It’s already moonrise, if you do the warrior ceremony now you can tell of the newest warriors.” Stripeface persisted. I pondered on this for a moment. He was right. I would have some new warriors and a new elder to brag about at the Lilly Gathering if I went through with this. And I do love to brag about my clan success. Especially after how the war had impacted us greatly.
“Very well, Stripeface.” I agreed. It will be interesting. All three of us padded out of my den and into the camp. I jumped to the top of the rockpile. “Let all cats old enough to hunt their own prey, gather below the rockpile for a clan meeting!” I yowled. Soon all the cats in my clan were on front of the rockpile.
“Hello, Snakestar.” Bluepelt, my clan deputy, mewed in greeting and sat at the foot of the rockpile. Bluepelt is a bluish furred she-cat.
“I’ve called this meeting for certain reasons. One: a warrior ceremony before this moonup, the Lilly Gathering.” I meowed loudly to my clan. My cats mewed below in surprised excitement. “Will Blackpaw come up to the rockpile please?” I called. Blackpaw jumped up and to sit next to me on the rockpile. Blackpaw is an all black tom. I recited the words to make him a warrior of Brookclan, “Blackpaw, as Moonclan looks down upon us and into your heart, they believe you are ready to become a warrior, and so do I. Will you follow the clan code even at the cost of your very life? Do you except their decision?”
“I do.” Blackpaw promised.
“Then I, Snakestar, leader of Brookclan, give you your warrior name. Blackpaw, you shall now be known as Blackbird. May Brookclan accept you!” I finished. I touched my nose to his forehead and he licked my shoulder in respect.
“Welcome Blackbird.” Bluepelt mewed warmly when Blackbird jumped off the Rockpile.
“Blackbird! Blackbird!” The clan cheered his new warrior name.
“Will Greenpaw come up to the Rockpile please?” I mewed. The green-eyed green-ish tortoiseshell she-cat looked up at me in shock and surprise. I flicked my tail at her, beckoning her to come up as I had asked. She shakily jumped up next to me. I recited the warrior words.
“I do.” Greenpaw asked when I finished.
“Then I, Snakestar, leader of Brookclan, give you your warrior name. Greenpaw, you shall now be known as Greenleaf. May Brookclan accept you!” I cried. I touched my nose to her forehead and she licked my shoulder.
“Welcome, Greenleaf.” Bluepelt mewed.
“Greenleaf! Greenleaf!” The clan cheered.
“Now,” I said, silencing the clan, “the second reason I called this meeting is for a very old but loved warrior in the clan. Would Stripeface come up to the Rockpile?” Stripeface jumped up willingly. “Stripeface, you have taken the decision to become our first elder since the war. From now on, you shall sleep in the elders den. Now our meeting has ended.” I swished my tail to make the ending official. The clan Scattered to their dens to rest. Ravenpaw fetched Stripeface’s moss bed from the warriors den and moved it into the elders den.
“Thank you.” He thanked her. It warmed my heart. Oh how I wished Whitepaw, Crowpaw, and Ravenpaw could be warriors. Sadly, they haven’t taken the test…yet.